


Scout Party

by Holy_Leonards



Series: Queef and Friends [8]
Category: Fallout 4
Genre: Anal Sex, Crack, Crooks - Freeform, Loud Orgasms, M/M, Scouting Mission, Threesome, Tricky Dick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-03
Updated: 2016-02-03
Packaged: 2018-05-18 00:01:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5890255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Holy_Leonards/pseuds/Holy_Leonards
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Danse and SS are ordered to scout a raider camp  and look for possible synths.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Scout Party

“Queef!”

“Ehhhhh?”

“We have a new assignment from head quarters. We have to scout out a possible bandit camp a little ways south of here. There have been reports of them trying to make their own synths and the Brotherhood feels that any form of robot life could be threatening to the almighty Brotherhood. We have orders to kill without mercy. Actually, killing without mercy is encouraged. No...wait...killing without mercy is required. Yeah!”

“But I don't kill! You know I'm a pacifist. That means I pass the fists right in the buttholes!”

“If you wanna get with me, there's something you gotta know: If the brotherhood calls, then baby, you gotta go.”

“Well, when you put it that way...”

“That's my little lovey wovey snookums. Now gear up, soldier!”

“Yes, bear!”

Queef crawled out of bed and his sparkly pale ass nearly blinded Danse. He had to look away even though it was the last thing he wanted to do. Queef got into the tightest scout uniform that he could find and chose to bring a plasma pistol. 

“Why do you just want that puny thing?”

“Because it looks like a dildo duhhhhh.”

Danse grumbled and then crawled into his power armor. Queef hopped on his back and they were off to the bandit camp.

The bandit camp happened to be in a cave next to some weird space craft. Queef and Danse hid behind a large rock and observed the cave entrance to see how many of those little fucks there were. Queef nudged Danse.

“Hey! Hey Danse!”

“Keep it down! What do you want?”

“You know what that cave looks like?”

“Don't say 'your mom'”

“Your...BUTTHOLE! Haha!”

“Cut it out! Use those binoculars and tell me how many there are and what they are armed with.”

“I only see two bad dudes out front. As for what they are armed with...two arms each. Haha!”

“Take this seriously or no sexy time!”

“Waaaaaaaah! I want sexy time!”

“Then follow orders!”

“Yes, sir.”

“Good. Now, I'm gonna lean out of the left side and drop the guards. It will surely alert others that are inside so be ready to open up on them.”

“Got it.”

Danse leaned out and fired a shot from his laser rifle at the guy on the right. He turned to ash instantly and it freaked Queef out. 

“EWWWWWW WHAT THE FUCK!”

Danse then moved his sights to the guy on the left and blew his head off.

“JESUS CHRIST DANSE!”

“Be ready, Queef!”

Queef looked at the plasma pistol and did the only thing his body knew how to do, stick it in his ass. Danse had to kill the other four raiders while Queef anally masturbated behind that rock.

“Loser! You're a loser, Queef!”

“Let me be! I told you about passing the fists! I can only love, man.”

“Get up! We have to check it out either way.”

They went to the cave entrance and took a look through the inventories of the dead raiders. Mostly just drugs and ammunition, but one raider had an interesting holotape. 

“'How To Make A Robit'. Queef, I think we found what we were looking for.”

“Hotdog!”

They made their way into the cleared out cave to have a look at the rest of their little camplight. It looked like your run-of-the-mill raider camp except for the big plywood wall sectioning off a portion of the cave. The door in the middle of the wall was locked up tighter than Sturges.

“Queef, can you make yourself useful and pick that lock?”

“I don't know, can I?”

“May you?”

“Yes!”

Queef pulled a bobby pin from his crotch and stuck it in. The slime from his unmentionable region allowed the pin to move the tumblers easier. In no more than five seconds that master lock was picked and the two were on their way to finding the secret of the bandit camp. 

The two Brotherhood boyscouts could not believe their eyes. There was a large table with a synthetic man laying motionless on it. The synth was hooked up to a huge power supply and a computer system. 

“What do you think that is, Queef?”

“Man maker!”

Queef walked over to the synth to get a closer look.

“Oh, Danse, I know what this is.”

“What?”

“How well do you know your prewar stuff?”

“I know very little.”

“Well, what we have here is...is...”

“WHAT!?”

“Tricky Dick!”

“Tricky Dick?”

“Yeah! Tricky Dick Nixon! The guy who unleashed the watergates and flooded all of Washington D.C. Back in the 1970s. Boy, he was my hero growing up.”

“They were trying to reanimate this Dick guy?”

“Yep, probably trying to make a sexbot of him judging by that sexy piece of equipment bolted to his crotch.”

There was a thick ten incher sticking out of his presidential trousers.

“Danse, can I awake him?”

“What? Are you crazy?”

“I think your next gay experience should be with two men.”

“Well...that does sound kinda hot...REALLY hot actually. Fine, but we kill him immediately afterwards.”

“Deal.”

Queef went over to Nixon's head and started moving some wires around.

“Looks like they were on the brink of bringing him to life. All I have to do is plug this in here and...”

There was a loud bang and a puff of smoke rose up from Nixon's ass. Then, the robot slowly lifted itself up off of the table. It turned and looked at Danse and saluted.

“Greetings, soldier. I am your pres-pes-president NOT A CROOK! Thank you for your CROOK service to your Watergate?”

“Queef, what the hell is wrong with him?”

“Faulty programming?”

“Can we have sex with him?”

“Let me ask”

Queef cleared his throat.

“Mr. President.”

“Yes fine CROOiden?”

“Would you care to join us in a gentleman's orgy?”

“Why, I'd love that more than invading Cambodia!”

“Splendid!”

Queef tore off his scout uniform and made his way toward's the president's clothes. Danse stepped out of his power armor and realized that he forgot to put his actual clothing on today. When the three were sufficiently nude, they got to business. Queef and RoboNixon made a Dansewich with Queef taking it and Nixon giving it. Danse was in pure heaven with that ten inches almost piercing that synthetic prostate and his own synthetic member being plunged into the warm, cavernous void of Queef's anus. The robotic precision of RoboNixon's thrusts was pure heaven and it was not long before the pressure building up in Danse's crotch was too much and he attempted to fill Queef with his coolant stuff. His finishing triggered both Nixon and Queef's orgasm, but Nixon's was the loudest of them all.

“GGGGGGBBBBBRRRRGRGRGRRGR AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH CRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOKERY NOT TRUE!”

RoboNixon's was so intense that it caused his bolted on dildo to become too hot and it almost melted. He stepped back from Danse and he lost his balance and fell face first onto the floor. When he got up, he noticed that there was a bend in his penis about eight inches up. It was bent exactly 90 degrees to the right. Queef noticed and laughed.

“Look! He truly is a tricky Dick!”

“YOU TAKE THAT BACK CROOK!”

RoboNixon's eyes turned red. He pulled out a pen and started chasing Queef.

“IMPEACH! IMPEACH! MUST IMPEACH!”

“Danse, help me!”

Danse picked up his laser rifle and fired at the robotic president. It hit his leg, but only crippled it.

“We will meet again soon, soldiers! But, next time you will succumb to the wit and wisdom that is RICHARD NIXON!”

RoboNixon jumped up and his tricky Dick caught a gust of wind that caused him to boomerang out of the cave and into the Commonwealth. 

“Danse, I wanna go home.”

“Let's rest. We've earned it.”

They crawled into one of the raider beds and snuggled through the radioactive night.


End file.
